People often say that you need to really be in tune with yourself to love other people better. If you can’t identify your own needs and improve your own habits, how will you help do the same for another person?
Psychologist John Bowlby developed the Attachment Theory to identify why people act the way they do in relationships. There are 3 main categories of attachment- secure, anxious, and avoidant. These categories are based on how much you depend on or distance yourself from your partner, often correlating with how you were raised.
By highlighting the roots of unhealthy patterns, this theory empowers people to succeed at finding love by healing wounds from the past. Check out this video to learn more about your attachment style.
Secure
Having a secure attachment to romantic partners shows that you love others out of a healed place. You find it relatively easy to become close to other people and show them that you trust them.Â
If you don’t resonate with a secure attachment right now, there’s still hope to grow into a more secure attachment style as you grow and become more self-aware.
Anxious
Anxious attachment styles have a deep desire for closeness that they mask with aggressive behavior. You tend to hold on to people tightly out of fear of losing their attention or affection. This can cause the other person to feel suffocated or give room for codependent behavior.
Avoidant
Those with avoidant attachment styles often seem cold or detached from people. The truth is, you’re likely only maintaining your distance out of fear of being hurt. After already experiencing violations of trust that caused a lot of distress, it can be easier to avoid love than to keep being open and vulnerable.
Click here to take a self-assessment for your attachment style and find out how you can change your relationship patterns for the better!Â
If you are still concerned about your emotional state, maybe check out this article on Why People Feel EmptyÂ
